3 months-it's for the birds

When I was a little girl I remember my Dad saying that the last three months before you get married is always the worst. He said that you would fight over the little stuff, stress about the color of the curtains, and finally figure out that your significant other really doesn't like your chicken salad after all. I always laughed at these examples my Dad gave thinking that it really couldn't ever happen to me. I mean really-fighting over the color of the curtains?? Who in their right mind does that? I'll tell ya who--me....I do that.....Dad was right after all.
 The last three months can potentially be worst. Between picking out furniture, kitchen tables, sheets, picture frames, and the color of the flowers on the front porch-it can be down right awful.
Today was one of those days. I move into the place that Thomas and I will call home for the next year (at least) in about three weeks. Like all normal people who haven't had a nice, full sized big kid apartment-we needed furniture. So like all good mid-western people we got into our car and went to the only place in the mid-west that really is one stop shopping for your home!

However-as smart as we were for going-we just as stupid. It's a Saturday and apparently that meant everyone and their dog as well as their 3rd cousins twice removed was there. Thomas briskly sped through NFM with ease and determination-me on the other hand held on tight and praying I wouldn't have a panic attack right there in the middle of the store because of all the people.

After walking around for what seemed like hours, falling in love with a few pieces, Thomas suggests that we go and do what we should have done to begin with-apply for the credit card. Ugh, fantastic-lines, people, and an overly warm Kaitlin. In case you are wondering-not a good combination. To add to the already grumpy mood that was over taking me like the plague, my cell phone starts ringing off the hook and who is it you ask? You guessed it! My FATHER. Good ol' Dad. The man who offered me-no-freely gave without knowledge of the future stressed he had just caused his unsuspecting daughter-advice.

Now-if you know my family at all-you will know that "patience and hang on ONE SECOND" is NOT in our vast vocabulary of words. After being pressed for an answer about dates, hanging up three times, attempting to discuss my personal financial information with a less than thrilled financial counselor, my Father's request was finally answered, the credit card was obtained, and Thomas & sat down and had the FIRST fight of the day.

After what I'm sure was the dumbest most unimportant fight of the century (over how to split up our BIG purchases from our oh so favorite store) we left. Empty handed and with major migraines.

Like a day in the furniture store wasn't enough-Thomas got the best idea ever-yes even better than furniture! A stop at "Golf Galaxy". Yes-a stop at Kaitlin's most hated sports store ever. Not because it's Thomas' favorite store, but because for the life of me I have yet to figure out what in the world is so fantastic about spending an entire day driving a tiny little cart, around a HUGE green, hitting a TINY little ball into a TINY little hole-really? So-off to golf galaxy we went.

After this wonderfully exciting day of overly packed furniture stores, impatient people, grumpy financial counselors, trips to the wonderful golf store, and pointless fights-we were hungry. So off to one of the best Mexican places ever....

Dinner was divine-chips, salsa, guacamole, cheese dip, rice, beans, enchiladas, and tacos-enough food to kill an elephant-or an iguana-take your pick. We decided to go shopping at the one and only

Now, you are probably asking yourself--"what in the world are these two thinking? They just spent hours in a furniture store only to walk out with nothing but a headache. Why are they going shopping.....again?" I'll answer that question for you. Because we are STUPID that's why!

We walked out of Target with yet again ANOTHER headache and pissed off at the other because (of all things) Thomas wouldn't go with me to look at shorts. SHORTS! Seriously???!!!!

After getting back in my car, yelling at each other for a few minutes. We continue on with out evening by seeing....

After a movie, a cup of Bryer's Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough Ice Cream, and a still irritated Kaitlin-we got into our car to go back to my place.

Now, at this point I should probably tell you all that Thomas knew he probably should have just come along and looked at the dumb shorts and he knew that I was upset still-so he said he was sorry. But in a not so normal way. Instead of saying "sorry" he decides to play the song "I'm sorry" by Brenda Lee. For those of you who are not familiar with this song....let me just let you read what made the entire stressful day melt away in seconds:

I'm sorry, so sorry
That I was such a fool
I didn't know
Love could be so cruel
Oh, oh, oh, oh
Uh-oh
Oh, yes

(I'm sorry) I'm sorry
(So sorry) So sorry
Please accept my apology
But love is blind
And I was to blind to see
Oh, oh, oh, oh
Uh-oh
Oh, yes

 The car burst into laughter. I couldn't see straight so I pulled the car over into the McDonald's parking lot. 20 chicken nuggets, 2 cheeseburgers, and a red box later-the stupid, pointless fight was over. 

I guess I say all of this to finally get to this point. 

I'm not sure where all of you are in your relationships. Some of you are right where we are, some of you have been married for a hundred years, and some of you aren't anywhere close to being at this point. But no matter where you are, how you feel, how wrong you think the other person is, or how stressed out you get-remember this. 

You don't say "I do but I don't" 

The person you are with isn't perfect-but they are perfect for YOU. 

And above all....

Life is too short to always be serious. 

Live.

Laugh.

Love.

Smile.

Breathe deep

Calm down

Enjoy the ride.

My Friends

"A good friend is like a bra-ready to push you up and be supportive."


I have been so blessed in my life to be surrounded by an amazing group of people that I have the privilege to call my friends....no....friends isn't a good enough word. These people have become my family. This year my "family" pool began to get much larger as new people were brought into this group.

Today I sat in Campus Center-just like I do everyday of the week-and began to look around the table. I had to smile when I began to realize how much I care about each of the people who were sitting around the table and how much I have learned from each of them.

From Chelsea I have learned to look at the bigger picture-the situation might not always be what you think it is.

From Bethany I have learned to be quiet and observe-but still have an opinion and offer it when it is necessary.

From Kent I have learned when to be funny-but when to be serious and to stand up for yourself or others.

From Cody I have learned when to offer advice-even if it isn't always serious.

From Andy I have learned to not take life seriously. It's better to laugh everyday than be sad all the time.

I thought to myself how incredibly blessed we have all been to have found the others. How much richer our lives have become-how much stronger our support system is. I began to think about what if something happened to any of us-who would we call? I soon realized that one of those people would be the first that we would call-we have become that kind of family for each other.

We have held each other when we needed to cry.
Vented to each other when we didn't know what to do.
Corrected each other when we were wrong.
Fought for each other when we were attacked.
Stood together when we were mourning.
Celebrated accomplishments-and even our failures.
Laughed when we didn't think we could.
And faced life head on-even in the small things.

I have been so blessed to have these special people in my life-and today I just want to say thank you-thanks for loving me...even though you know me. You all really are great "bras"!

Simply Strategic Stuff part 7-61-70

If you can't pay your employees well, you have too many employees (61): Chapter 61 goes over wages for your staff. The author talks about instead of hiring more staff for your church, you should choose to increase the wage of your staff-that is if it does not put the health of your staff at risk.

Avoid These Classic Communication Blunders (62): The author goes over the 4 communication blunders 1)They communicate too little 2)They communicate too much 3)They communicate to the wrong people 4) They communicate the wrong information. He also talks about the 3 targets groups that you must communicate with 1)Newcomers 2) Staff and key leaders 3)Donors

Don't let the treasurer decide how to spend the money (63): The author discusses in this chapter two very important details about your church. The first was "people who cut the checks and handle the money should never have decision-making authority for purchases made in your church." and the second pertains to personal decisions that get made. "Finances and human resources which are the primary function is to facilitate ministry, not to decide what will or won't happen within the ministry."

Believe the best (64): This chapter goes over what to do if your pastor or a staff member is accused of doing something. The author says to consider the person's character and to evaluate the source. Also make sure that you move quickly thru the discovery phase remember if the phase ends of being fact finding to remove the person immediately.

Create a culture that expects volunteers to do it before staff (65): This chapter states that you should only hire staff when volunteers cannot accomplish what you need done. It is very important to have your church expect volunteers.


Read the Bible and fast company magazine (66): Be up to date on what is going on in the world so that you are able to interact with the people who are not in your church. The author listed some of the books and magazines that they found helpful. The author also stated 2 reasons for secular reading and viewing. The first is that you will learn things that can help your church and the second you will be able to experience what your people are reading and watching.

Your structure should mirror your strategy (67): This chapter goes over the importance of having strategies for your ministries. "Without a process to help people take steps in their faith journey, the church tends to strcuture around programs or the strengths of the senior pastor."

Design the Biggest lobby you think you'll need, then double it (68): Make sure that you let your contractor and architect plan your building for your needs!

Money Management Matters (69): The author goes over 4 important steps to protect your ministry. 1) Designated gifts 2) counting offerings 3) separtion of duties 4) Reconciliation.

Plan for the negative press (70): Have a plan if a major crisis hits your church. The author talks about 4 different things you can do to help in this. 1) Keep a list of reporters 2) Let them know every time something positive is happening at your church 3) Stay tuned in to that reporter 4)When the crisis hits and they call the church, never say, "no comment".



In my experience with having volunteers in your church vs. always relying on staff is: Having volunteers makes programs and "dreams" come true faster! With having several different volunteers, you are getting alot of people who have alot of different skills. This is a great asset for any church! Many talents = REALLY AWESOME PROGRAMMING!

Timeless

So I haven't written something worthwhile in......too long.

This week has been a crazy week for me. I had a test on Monday & a HUGE presentation on Tuesday-mind you we JUST got back from Spring Break. If those two things weren't enough my weekly to-do list was longer than normal and more detailed than normal. Once again, I would love to thank all my profs for that one. Needless to say my motto for the week has been "Say no to extra stuff". As hard as it has been I have been very successful at staying with this motto and am almost done with my list. However, I've been obsessed with TIME in the midst of all this. Will I have enough? Stay up later to get more done. Maybe an all nighter?

It began to make me think.

Time.

A 4-letter word with such crazy meaning.

Time.

It could mean life or death. A yes or no. Turkey or ham. Late or not.

Thinking of all these things made me stress out even more and so my drive and obsession to get things done began to overrun my entire being. That is, until this morning.

I opened up a devotional that my Mom gave to me a couple weeks ago. So far because of TIME (the little booger) I haven't been able to really get into it. I was looking under the couch for a school book-yes, we keep our books under furniture-and I found it. I had to smile when I opened it and found this:

Wait patiently with me while I bless you. Don't rush into my Presence with time-consciousness gnawing at your mind. I dwell in timelessness: I am, I was, and I always will be. For you, time is a protection; you're a frail creature who can handle only twenty-four hour segments of life. Time can also be a tyrant, ticking away relentlessly in your mind. Learn to master time, or it will be your master. Though you are a time-bound creature, seek to meet Me in timelessness. As you focus on My Presence, the demands of time and tasks will diminish. I will bless you and keep you, making My face shine upon you graciously, giving you Peace.

How often we forget this and go about our daily live thinking nothing of the God who longs to be with us intimately.

Today-my goal is to remember this and to slow down, take a deep breath, & feel and know the Peace of a God who is TIMELESS.

Be prepared

Don't mess with me.
Don't tell me I can't do it.
Don't expect me to fail.
Don't expect me to let you walk on me.


I've been the girl you looked down on. I've been the girl in the corner-ignored. alone. hurting. scared.
I've been the girl you judged.
I've been the girl you've hated because I was different.
I've intimidated you.
I've shocked you.

I've been prepared for people like you my whole life....


But......

Have you been prepared for me?

Simply Strategic Stuff part 6 51-60

It's easier to hire than fire (51): This chapter went over key components to hiring staff. The 4 points that are crucial to remember during time are 1) Position request 2) Position classification & wage level 3) Interviews & selection 4) Employee orientation.

Take me to your leader (52): Questions to consider when looking for new leaders for your top leadership team.
1) Commitment to Christ 2) Character 3) Conduct 4) Comprehension 5) Capacity 6) Compassion 7) Calling

People give to changed lives (53): The chapter discusses how people "don't focus on constructing buildings" they would rather give to changed lives and the ministry that creates those changed lives.

The low bid may cost more (54): When hiring a contractor-you should consider the following things. 1) Reputation 2) Honesty 3) Affinity 4) Workmanship 5) Ownership. To figure if your candidates have these things-you have to conduct interviews and check references to make sure that their "bid" is the best one.

Attend the innovative church conference every year (55): Being able to go to these conferences helps you, your staff, volunteers, etc. expand their vision and mission for your church as well as learning new things from other people and their experiences.

Read Your Comment Cards (56): Listen to the things that people in your church are saying. Some things are helpful and some are not-but either way-make sure you hear them out!

Bake sales don't pay the water bill (57) Instead of having fundrasiers: encourage your church to make their weekly/monthly tithes and offerings. This helps your people understand biblical stewardship principles.

Your Organizational Structure should change often (58): If you have structure in your church you are able to facilitate ministry. This provides a clear path for your church-it's mission, goals, etc. Change should be apart of your DNA.

Ministry should be fun (59): HAVE FUN! The attitude that you and your staff have will influence the attitudes and cultures of your church. So, have fun with your staff! The happier they are the smoother things will go!

It could take twice as long but shouldn't cost twice as much (60): Simple strategies to keep your project budgets in check. 1) Never start the project until you have received a guaranteed max price from your contractor. 2) Always include a contingency amount over and above your contractor's GMP. 3) Always require that every change order is submitted timely and in writing 4) Always identify and individual who is solely responsible for the project, and make sure your contractor knows who that is.

In the chapter "take me to your leader" I am reminded of how important asking these questions to a potential staff member really is. It is also equally important to ask their spouse the same questions. If the staff member doesn't have a spouse who has the same vision you could meet some serious problems.                                                                                            

Simply Strategic Stuff part 5 41-50

Keep Budgeting Simple (41): Chapter 41 goes over the budget process. The author lists 5 different points to remember during this process. 1) Start with a schedule 2) Assign responsibility 3) Define your action plan 4) Create simple forms 5) Make as few decisions as possible.

Make "Hellos" Long & "Goodbyes" quick (42): Chapter 42 goes over saying goodbye to staff members. The author recommends not letting the their "leaving process" to take more than 2 weeks. They gave 2 important reasons for this. 1)People who are departing become a magnet for every unhappy person in your church. 2) Departing staff members can no longer dream about the future of your ministry. Pay doesn't have to be taken away after this time but set their final date of work at the church 2 weeks after their notice.

Tell Stories (43): Stories draw people in and are remembered by all. The author gives a few things to consider when you are storytelling. 1) Jesus' primary style of communication was through stories. 2) Tell stories about the changed lives of people in your congregation. 3) Use stories when you are thanking people.

Watch these three lids (44): 3 lids that will prevent a growing church from sustaining growth. 1) Parking. 2) Children. 3)Seats. Every growing church should have someone who is always watching these three lids and looking into the future to find ways to improve upon them.

Most designated Gifts should be turned down (45): As leadership in the church you should establish guidelines that encourage healthy, biblical stewardship and at the same time promoting a unified budget. You shouldn't let the "designated giving" be the driving force of your church.

The Journey is as important as the destination (46): This chapter talked about varying levels of importance in cause and community. The author states that being able to emphasize community can be very difficult. It can sometimes bring hurt and pain or even bitterness.

Focus on Hot Projects (47): This chapter discusses your hot projects and looks at the 5 things you should identify when starting these projects. 1) Vision. 2) Project champion. 3) Deadline. 4) Resources. 5) Measures.

Don't vote on the carpet color (48): Bringing us nonessential issues during a congregation, board, and/or committee vote can be a real pain. If there are not capable people in your church that you trust to make decisions such as picking out the color of new carpet, then you should consider that you may have a leadership problem.

Systems should make life easier (49): "The best systems and procedures help people become more effective and efficient in their ministry roles." When you want to create a new policy within the church you should ask the following two questions. 1) Do we actually need this policy? 2) Does it make life easier for our team?

Put "Professional Cheerleader" on your business card (50): The author poses different questions asking what would happen if the pastor took on the "cheerleader" role as their primary role. The author states that even though you are a preacher, teacher, etc-the role of "cheerleader" is one of the most vital roles in your ministry.


Chapter 42 goes over making your hellos long and your goodbyes short. I have seen first hand how difficult it is to do. One of our youth pastors several years ago took another church assignment. After announcing it to the pastor/board, youth group, and congregation-it took an additional 3 months for them to actually leave. This made it very difficult for them to cut ties with the kids and congregation and vice versa. It also had an effect on the new youth group they were moving too because it was difficult for those kids to start the bonding process with them.