It's a Monday.
Normally at this time on Monday's I would be sitting in Prof. Clark's Principles of Management class highlighting powerpoints and wasting time on Facebook.
But as I lay here in bed attempting to regain all the strength that I lost over this past semester, I begin to think of all the things that I am going to miss.
One day I am going to miss staying up late and studying. Because one day-I'll have bigger things to worry about than the test in Clark's class or the paper that was due for Fine.
One day I am going to miss making late night runs to Stake n' Shake or BWW with my roommates because one day we will all live in different places and our late nights will be few and far between.
One day I am going to miss eating massive amounts of junk food to stay awake because one day all that junk food is going to find a nice home....on my hips.
One day I am going to miss having headaches from school and finals because one day I am going to have headaches from other things.
One day I am going to miss my long breaks from "life" because one day I won't get those breaks anymore.
One day I am going to miss Campus Center food......then again....maybe not.
One day I am going to miss this crazy part of my life. I am going to want the moments back.
Monday, December 20, 2010
Friday, December 17, 2010
Someday
Someday I'll be in high school.
April 26, 2008 I graduated.
Someday I'll go to college.
August 18, 2008 I began my freshman year at WSU.
Someday I'll have 3 semesters of college left.
December 16, 2010 made that a reality.
Someday I'll go on my first date with my future husband.
March 20, 2010 I did just that.
Someday I'll get engaged and have a big shiny ring.
August 11, 2010 I became a fiance
Someday I'll be a wife.
June 25, 2011 will be that day.
Someday I'll be a mommy.
Date: TBD
I remember as a little girl I would sit and think about my "somedays". I wondered what it would be like. Would I like it? Would it be scary? How would it feel? Am I going to cry? So many questions ran thru my mind and as I grew up and began to experience all these questions got answered. Yes, I love the experiences. Yes, it really is scary. Everything feels so right, so exciting, so crazy. And yes, I did cry and will cry.
It is so exciting to think that all of these new experiences and life choices are upon me now. It seemed so far away not so long ago, but now it seems like those moments that I thought these things are now so far away.
Life has come and gone so quickly. But for all the years that keep coming and have passed, incredible things have happened.
"For everything there is a season....."
April 26, 2008 I graduated.
Someday I'll go to college.
August 18, 2008 I began my freshman year at WSU.
Someday I'll have 3 semesters of college left.
December 16, 2010 made that a reality.
Someday I'll go on my first date with my future husband.
March 20, 2010 I did just that.
Someday I'll get engaged and have a big shiny ring.
August 11, 2010 I became a fiance
Someday I'll be a wife.
June 25, 2011 will be that day.
Someday I'll be a mommy.
Date: TBD
I remember as a little girl I would sit and think about my "somedays". I wondered what it would be like. Would I like it? Would it be scary? How would it feel? Am I going to cry? So many questions ran thru my mind and as I grew up and began to experience all these questions got answered. Yes, I love the experiences. Yes, it really is scary. Everything feels so right, so exciting, so crazy. And yes, I did cry and will cry.
It is so exciting to think that all of these new experiences and life choices are upon me now. It seemed so far away not so long ago, but now it seems like those moments that I thought these things are now so far away.
Life has come and gone so quickly. But for all the years that keep coming and have passed, incredible things have happened.
"For everything there is a season....."
Tuesday, December 14, 2010
Afraid....yet filled with joy
I asked God fore strength that I might achieve great things. I was made weak that I might learn to humbly obey. I asked God for health so that I might do greater things. I was given infirmity that I might do things better. I asked God for riches that I might be happy. Instead I was given just enough so that I might be wise. I asked God for power so that I could receive praises. I was given weakness so that I could feel the need for Him. I asked God for all things so that I could enjoy my life. I was given life so that I could enjoy everything. I got nothing that I asked for, but everything I ever hoped for. Almost despite myself, my unspoken prayers were answered. I am, among all on earth, most richly blessed.
I have become so good at being afraid, worried, stressed, negative, and lonely that I have not seen how much God has blessed me. I have been given opportunities. I have been given friends. I have been given mercy and grace. I have been given the chance to love. I have been given the chance to forgive and to be forgiven. I have been given a heart that can bend-but never be fully broken. I have been given LIFE. A life that has been good and a life that has been bad. A life that has taught me lessons and has made me sad. A life that has shown me what hard work is. A life that has brought me friends. A life that has brought me joy.
Have I been given all the things that I have ever asked for?
No.
Am I afraid?
Yes.
But.......
I am filled with joy.
For how blessed I am.
In a world that hurts.
I am afraid.....yet filled with joy
I have become so good at being afraid, worried, stressed, negative, and lonely that I have not seen how much God has blessed me. I have been given opportunities. I have been given friends. I have been given mercy and grace. I have been given the chance to love. I have been given the chance to forgive and to be forgiven. I have been given a heart that can bend-but never be fully broken. I have been given LIFE. A life that has been good and a life that has been bad. A life that has taught me lessons and has made me sad. A life that has shown me what hard work is. A life that has brought me friends. A life that has brought me joy.
Have I been given all the things that I have ever asked for?
No.
Am I afraid?
Yes.
But.......
I am filled with joy.
For how blessed I am.
In a world that hurts.
I am afraid.....yet filled with joy
Yes-I should be studying.....BUT
It's finals week-or as I would much rather label it: Procrastination Week.
It's the week where all the profs give you all the homework and papers they should have given you at the beginning of the year. The week that has you sleeping in the library, eating massive amounts of food that is not good for you, and thinking of all the things that you would rather be doing. The week where students world wide want to kill over and die.
Procrastination week for me has been-enlightening, enraging, and annoying all because of a website known as Facebook.
Yes. Some of you out there in blog land laugh because you know me and you know how much of an addict I am. However: as of this week I have realized that Facebook has become a real pain. A place for people to talk about stupid things, complain about their lives, and make stupid comments.
So, while I should be studying this cold winter morning of the first day of Procrastination week. I have decided instead to make a list of issues that I have with-Facebook
1. Learn how to spell. You look like an idiot when you misspell words on purpose b/c you think you are cool. Get a life or go back to school.
2. Teen girls who think it's cool that you are pregnant-just because 16 and pregnant and Teen Mom makes it LOOK cool doesn't mean that it IS cool. Quit trying to make your lives look like an MTV reality series.
3. Posting entire picture albums of YOURSELF is stupid. Just stop.
4. Keep your drama off your status. No one cares that he is playing xbox when he should be looking at you, no one cares that you are in love....again....and you are 14, and guess what?! No one cares that she is with him or he is with her and that you are the best thing that has ever entered into his life....once again. You are 14!
5. If you hate your job, life, you are bored, you need a job, your bf/gf is a cheating punk, or you have other stupid drama. Tweet it-don't make it show up in my news feed.
*sigh* well there are the top 5 annoying things that I have come up with this morning.
Now, back to being a productive member of procrastination week. :)
It's the week where all the profs give you all the homework and papers they should have given you at the beginning of the year. The week that has you sleeping in the library, eating massive amounts of food that is not good for you, and thinking of all the things that you would rather be doing. The week where students world wide want to kill over and die.
Procrastination week for me has been-enlightening, enraging, and annoying all because of a website known as Facebook.
Yes. Some of you out there in blog land laugh because you know me and you know how much of an addict I am. However: as of this week I have realized that Facebook has become a real pain. A place for people to talk about stupid things, complain about their lives, and make stupid comments.
So, while I should be studying this cold winter morning of the first day of Procrastination week. I have decided instead to make a list of issues that I have with-Facebook
1. Learn how to spell. You look like an idiot when you misspell words on purpose b/c you think you are cool. Get a life or go back to school.
2. Teen girls who think it's cool that you are pregnant-just because 16 and pregnant and Teen Mom makes it LOOK cool doesn't mean that it IS cool. Quit trying to make your lives look like an MTV reality series.
3. Posting entire picture albums of YOURSELF is stupid. Just stop.
4. Keep your drama off your status. No one cares that he is playing xbox when he should be looking at you, no one cares that you are in love....again....and you are 14, and guess what?! No one cares that she is with him or he is with her and that you are the best thing that has ever entered into his life....once again. You are 14!
5. If you hate your job, life, you are bored, you need a job, your bf/gf is a cheating punk, or you have other stupid drama. Tweet it-don't make it show up in my news feed.
*sigh* well there are the top 5 annoying things that I have come up with this morning.
Now, back to being a productive member of procrastination week. :)
Sunday, December 12, 2010
Quiet cold days
It's freezing outside. It's quiet. The wind is blowing. The Christmas lights in the window are glowing and the sounds of pages turning, blankets rustling, and jazz music playing softly drifts through the air. The sounds make it easy to think. Easy to dream. But at the same time. Easy to have your nerves start to get the best of you.
I always tell people that it is easy to jump off the cliff of life. To take the risks and not be afraid. "It's the ride of a lifetime" I always tell them. Taking the risks in life, making it an adventure, dreaming your big dreams-it's all worth it. Just do it.
Tonight I am sitting here. Thinking. Dreaming. Realizing.
When did I grow up? Become an adult? Begin making all of these adult choices? It's crazy to think that I am 21. That in 194 days I am going to be not only a daughter, a friend, a mentor, but also a wife. When did the little girl with pig tails become the woman with a crazy future?
When did all my dreaming become reality?
Why is it scary?
It's not what I thought it would feel like.
I mean. It's not bad. But it's different.
Dreams are great to dream. Reality-you know-when your dreams come true-that's when it's scary-but I have a feeling. It's going to be worth it.
So tonight-with all of the Christmas lights, cold weather, and music-I sit and I dream knowing that my dreams aren't just dreams anymore. They have become reality. So now, I dream about the reality that is about to come true.
I always tell people that it is easy to jump off the cliff of life. To take the risks and not be afraid. "It's the ride of a lifetime" I always tell them. Taking the risks in life, making it an adventure, dreaming your big dreams-it's all worth it. Just do it.
Tonight I am sitting here. Thinking. Dreaming. Realizing.
When did I grow up? Become an adult? Begin making all of these adult choices? It's crazy to think that I am 21. That in 194 days I am going to be not only a daughter, a friend, a mentor, but also a wife. When did the little girl with pig tails become the woman with a crazy future?
When did all my dreaming become reality?
Why is it scary?
It's not what I thought it would feel like.
I mean. It's not bad. But it's different.
Dreams are great to dream. Reality-you know-when your dreams come true-that's when it's scary-but I have a feeling. It's going to be worth it.
So tonight-with all of the Christmas lights, cold weather, and music-I sit and I dream knowing that my dreams aren't just dreams anymore. They have become reality. So now, I dream about the reality that is about to come true.
Tuesday, December 7, 2010
All the Days of your life
I am with you in all that you do, even in the menial tasks. I am always aware of you, concerned with every detail of your life. NOTHING escapes my notice- not even the number of hairs on your head. However, your awareness of My Presence falters and flickers; as a result, your life experience feels fragmented. When your focus is broad enough to include Me in your thoughts, you feel safe and complete. When your perception narrows so that problems or details fill your consciousness, you feel empty and incomplete.
Learn to look steadily at Me in all your moments and all your sircumstances, Though the world is unstable and in flux, you can experience continuity through your uninterrupted awareness of My presence. Fix your gaze on what is unseen, even as the visible world parades before your eyes!
Learn to look steadily at Me in all your moments and all your sircumstances, Though the world is unstable and in flux, you can experience continuity through your uninterrupted awareness of My presence. Fix your gaze on what is unseen, even as the visible world parades before your eyes!
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